Take Me Back!

I do not know what to do next. Who am I, Lord? I was lost among all these templates. Please take me back, Daddy! I was robbed by human standards. Where am I and who am I? I do not know. There are so many willing to help all around me , but can they help me? They do not know who I am that’s why only You can help me.

Return the one you created to Yourself.

I'm sorry, that at imperceptible moment I was replaced by a different, more convenient to the public, person. I thought that it should be. I believe those who tell me what I should be, and lose myself. I thought it would be better if I would be like they say me to be.  And the worst thing, Dad, I was sure it was me. But it was a lie! How am I mistaken!

I was brought as an example to the heroes of the Bible. And at some point, they became idols. I was told: "Look here, at  their humble nature,  they passed through the trials, and they praised God," and all this is fostered in me  not me but them. I'm sorry that instead of looking at You, I looked at them. I'm sorry that I was  not sculpted by You! Now I understand it, but then I was blind. Today I know that I will never be like them, because You do not need the second Paul, Moses, John, Joshua, Solomon, David ... You created everyone for a specific time. They would not be able to be so if  they  lived in my time. Today is another  time and You make other people! But I’m trying to be like them, as if I am stuck in the past. You made me at this time,  but I was robbed! Take me back!

Protect me from all these lies! Sometimes I think I'll never get out of this quagmire of lies. Because the more I resist, the more it draws me. The more I break, the more power goes to something that would stop me! Return me, Daddy! I want to You! I want to be real! I want to live in my house! I want to my family! Take me back!

Forgive me for my weakness, for my cowardice, for doubt, for not believing You  and now I'm so far away that Your voice is like the noise to me. I hear it, but I can not understand it. This brings me pain! Bring me to my native language. I want to be next to You! I'm sorry, that allowed to be deceived. Take me back, please! Forgive me for my pride that allowed my heart turn to stone. I'm sorry, that chose the easy way. Sorry about not fighting for us, that  I did not believe that You can love me so. How could I believe that when all around me love was always conditional.  And I believed that Your love must be earned. There was not a single person who would love me just like that. I know all this sounds like an excuse, but I  want to believe that it is not so! I do not need excuses to You, You know and understand everything.

I do not want to be what I am not. I do not want to emulate anyone else, even if  he is holy. I am not them and will never be like them! How stupid I was, I believed in all this lies. Please take me back! I want you and I know that I need you so much!