The Hands in the Blood

Some days ago I had a vision: I stay in the church, worship God, look at my hands and see that they’re covered with blood. I didn’t understand at first what that was and why it was on my hands. When I asked Jesus what blood it was He didn’t say anything and just looked at me. In His look I could only read: “I’m so sorry” And because He didn’t answer I began to guess suggesting different variants and watching His reaction.

It was like the game “Field of Miracles” where Dad thinks of the word, leader – Jesus knows the word but is silent and the Holy Spirit is my tip.

Because I didn’t even know where to start from the Holy Spirit told me that here there is the verse from the Bible. And the first thing that came into my head: “You have not yet resisted unto blood” And I began to untwist the topic. So, this blood means that I’m good for fighting once it is on my hands. So, I’m a normal warrior! I painted myself in the best way. I’ve gone over this speech in my head and again looked at Jesus. But He continued to look at me with His eyes full of compassion and regret. I realized that this is not the correct answer. And I wondered again.

I looked again at my hands and then the Holy Spirit whispered to me: “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” It seemed that a bowl of cold water was poured at me. I shifted my eyes to Jesus and said: “Is this the blood of all those people whom I killed?” He didn’t say anything but I understood everything. You know sometimes there are such moments when words are superfluous. When you hear what is in the silence.

In the same very moment when I realized that I was very scared. I was afraid to touch the blood as if it was alive I even thought that it was still warm. It was horrible. I understood that I couldn’t wash it. There is an expression “the hand warms the hand”. I realized I couldn’t wash them because they both are in blood. All I could do was stretch my arms forward and ask Jesus to wash them.

He didn’t turn away from me but said that He was happy for my choice. After all everyone has his hands in blood. And the tragedy is that some don’t see the blood when they kill with the language. Others try to hide it from Him. Others believe that it should be, they blindly believe that it is the right thing to cut with the word. And only a few, seeing their hands in blood stretch them to Him so that He could wash them.

Listen, we’ll always make mistakes but the most important thing is what will happen next. What we will choose when we see that we’re wrong: hide, ignore or invite Him for help.

When He was washing my hands I cried all the time and repeated that He would forgive me and return this blood into their bodies for them to be alive again. I begged Him that from my mistakes people wouldn’t die. After He washed me He looked at me and said that people don’t need this blood because He’s already given them His own blood. And I remembered the time when I came to Dad wounded, half alive and He filled me with life. Jesus continued to speak and said: “This blood is needed in the first place not for them, but for you” And I understood that this innocent blood on my hands helped me to realize how wrong I was.

Words cannot describe what I felt when He was washing my hands! After all I was standing before Him not as a victim but as a murderer but He continued to wash me. He washed me not for the sake of people but for my own sake. He served me! He was full of compassion! Sympathized with me! Loved me! He saw how bad I was and He was even worse seeing that! But despite the pain He was glad that I allowed Him to help me. Because when I’m good the Father is happy. But when His children feel bad He also suffers.

Incredible God! It’s unbelievable how can one love so much? Only He can cover everything! God is love not only for offended but even for those who offend!

Let’s be attentive to our words and our promises. Let’s love one another, encourage to life, accept, believe and remember that we’re all children of One Father and the disciples of One Teacher!