God Made Me for Himself

Little more than a year ago in my adult life burst Awakening. And a little later it brought me the realization that I don't know who I am and what I am. I clearly know what I should be - a daughter, a wife, a sister, a leader, what I should be to be loved by the society. Everything was written and understandable. But after I woke up, I realized with horror that I’d lost myself among all these scenarios written by human morality and culture.

Not easy period started in my life, which I conventionally called as God spoke: «Let Me introduce Kalina to Kalina». In other words, God acquainted me with myself.

Soap Bubbles

Yesterday I was sitting on the ministry and saw bubbles. I saw a man inflated them and admired: «Oh, what beauty, what a beautiful bubble I blew up». And I saw someone else who was looking forward to burst the bubble, so that the man saw that all this was emptiness. I can't say who the second person was: God, the devil or a man. But there was a grin on his face.

And today I was thinking about this blog, perhaps it is also a bubble and there is nothing significant in it. But on the other hand I saw a huge plus.

Misunderstanding

Sounds strange, but sometimes lack of understanding brings blessing. It seems to me that God gets a lot of fun, when my eyes fall out of orbit by surprise! He definitely likes to amaze me with His thinking.

Yesterday, my friend and I returned home from Kiev and were very tired, because before that we’ve already spent 3 hours on the road, and plus it was very stuffy. We decided to go to the bus that was nearby. 


We walked up to the driver, and I asked: «Could you take 2 of us to Zhitomir for 20 UAH?» He began to behave strangely: « You don’t want to change the big money, or you have just wasted all the money, haven’t you? Drunk up everything in Kiev, and now don’t have cash to get home!»

I am Looking for You, Dad!

Where are you, dad? It's hard without you! So many things are happening in my life. I want to tell you everything so much! We often talk about you with Heavenly Father. That’s why I know that you’re my best.  I don’t know you yet, but Daddy knows you and He likes you. He put in my heart dream about you. To tell the truth you can be easily confused with others, but God leads me and encourages me for me to look for you, one that He has provided me. 

The last time we were speaking about you I asked God that He gave me you as soon as possible because the older I get the more I understand how much I need you. New territories are opening before me and I can’t be without you. I need your support and care, your advice and faith.

Everything will be Fine!

Now I have such a period in my life when I can’t go back and can’t go ahead – may I die? 

One time, and recently, I have already experienced such a feeling. When I knew that something was happening but couldn’t explain it. It was scary to go ahead, I didn’t know why – it was just scary. But at the same time I couldn’t go back to the previous way of existence. The only thing that I wanted at that time was to dissolve in time as if I have never existed in this world. To disappear right now at this very moment! Urgently, until there is time to move forward. 

I’m Burning with Anger!

How can it be! How long can it happen! When will it stop? How long will the church be filled with confusing doctrine? When will people get tired of spreading the teaching of the Letter and when will the Truth spread its wings? When will this church fashion of spiritual masochism and sadism, the epoch “Woe from wit” end? When will the new era begin – the era of “Knowledge of the Truth”? We teach and teach all the time but still cannot comprehend the truth (2 Timothy 3:7) – it is sad. To be honest, I’m already sick of the teaching of the Letter.

Paradox

How often we’re misleading ourselves and others. Many people say that it is an art to speak in public. I would say that to learn how to listen and to hear yourself is also an art. We’re often deceived and don’t notice our own contradictions. First, we reject the person and then pray that he could feel acceptance and love, we pray against the spirit of rejection – isn’t it the paradox?

Or teach someone to do something and then shout that he does everything in a wrong way. And in addition can still say: “Who taught you so?” Maybe we should look in the mirror more often?

Psychology - Golden Calf

In the lives of many psychology has become the Golden calf, which we believe, trust and accept as truth. Psychology in our time has become an idol. How often one can hear such an expression «EVEN psychologists confirm it». What nonsense! Even psychologists - they are ordinary people, and the psychology is simply a science. When psychologists have become for us, Christians, authority? Reading the Bible and meditating on His word, we are surprised by the fact that EVEN psychologists say the same thing that God! Hey, people of God, wake up!

The Hands in the Blood

Some days ago I had a vision: I stay in the church, worship God, look at my hands and see that they’re covered with blood. I didn’t understand at first what that was and why it was on my hands. When I asked Jesus what blood it was He didn’t say anything and just looked at me. In His look I could only read: “I’m so sorry” And because He didn’t answer I began to guess suggesting different variants and watching His reaction.

It was like the game “Field of Miracles” where Dad thinks of the word, leader – Jesus knows the word but is silent and the Holy Spirit is my tip.

There is no duty in the relationship

Let’s do a little test. Ask yourself a question: “Have you ever been disappointed in God?”  It’s a simple question, thanks to which one may check relationships of people and God. Personally I answered: “Yes!”  As I think, many of you did. There is no right answer here, as we got used to think that every question has the right answer. The most important thing is to answer as it really is. We need to dig deeper instead of searching on the surface.